


Daffodils

by NerdyFangirling



Category: Captain America (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Powers, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV) References, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Bucky Barnes Recovering, But Shuri and Bucky make b99 references, Engineer Bucky Barnes, I don't think I did Peggy or Sam justice and I'm very sorry, John Mulaney References, M/M, does that make up for it?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-07
Updated: 2019-09-07
Packaged: 2020-09-27 02:48:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 7,283
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20400427
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NerdyFangirling/pseuds/NerdyFangirling
Summary: Younger Bucky always saw the beauty in everything so his favourite colour was always changing. Older Bucky is a nihilist who doesn't remember how to see the beauty in the world.Younger Steve started drawing because he wanted to remember every version of his ever-changing soul mark. Older Steve wishes he was given more to draw.orThe first step towards recovery is, shockingly, being willing to let yourself heal.- Shuri @ Bucky every day until he realisesSoulmate au where your soulmate's favourite colour comes up as a band across your wrist and can change with their favourite colour





	1. I Don't Wanna Be Sad Forever

**Author's Note:**

> Chapter titles are from Lauv's song Sad Forever because a) it's a great song and b) I was listening to it on repeat while writing this
> 
> I hope y'all enjoy this thing I wrote for myself :)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow this took precedence over my mock exams whoops we love dealing with our crises by ignoring them
> 
> Also sorry, there are roughly a metric fuck-ton of notes at the end about prosthetics and how I think this world works with the soul marks, so again, whoops

When he was a child, Bucky had loved the small things in life. He loved looking at the trees, the leaves, the flowers, the sunsets. He especially loved looking at the colours. As he grew older, he learned what the stripe on his wrist meant, and he loved that too. But he couldn’t help feeling a little bad about it. His stripe was always a shade of pink he learnt was called fuschia, but he didn’t have a favourite colour. Did his soulmate have no stripe? Was his soulmate going through life thinking he was alone? (He was also a little bit worried that his soulmate would be a girl because their favourite colour was pink. He didn’t think he wanted his soulmate to be a girl.)

Even though Bucky’s ma had reassured him that his soulmate’s stripe would change with Bucky’s preferences, it wasn’t until his own stripe changed colour one day that he truly believed her. The usually pink stripe was now the same yellow as the daffodil he’d seen earlier, and it had another smaller rectangle next to it. Maybe his soulmate had seen a pretty daffodil too. The thought made Bucky smile.

* * *

It was early spring, and Steve’s band was changing colour more often than usual - sometimes multiple times per day. Currently, it was a bright, clear blue - he imagined it was the colour of the sky where his soulmate was.

Sometimes a small picture, no more detailed than a quick sketch would be, appeared alongside his band too. Ma said that a picture meant that it had inspired his soulmate’s favourite colour.

Right now though, there was no picture, so Steve could only assume it was inspired by something too big to draw on a wrist. He liked when there was a picture. They were his favourite things to draw, even though he was still learning how to make them look the same. One day, he would be able to copy them exactly, so that he could remember all the colours and pictures even when they had gone.

It wasn’t long before the colour of his wrist had changed to a bright yellow, a small daffodil next to it. Steve hadn’t met his soulmate yet, but he thought they thought the world was pretty, and he liked that about them. He smiled to himself, deciding that he liked the colour of his soulmate’s happiness best - even if it wasn’t always pink like he thought his was.

* * *

After the accident, Bucky stopped taking as much notice of the beauty around him. Sometimes he would still see a nice sunset, or walk past an especially pretty flower, but mostly he didn’t care for these things anymore. What was the point of them? The sky couldn’t erase climate change. The ocean couldn’t fix poverty. Daffodils couldn’t get his arm back. These things may be beautiful, but what meaning did they hold?

Ironically, Bucky worked at Stark Industries, designing bionic prostheses of all things. While his shitty run-of-the-mill prosthetic gave him some more incentive to finish, it also hindered a lot of his progress. He couldn’t type properly, he’d had to learn how to write with his right hand, and he sure couldn’t put together his prototypes properly. If it weren’t for the contacts Stark had in Wakanda he probably would have given up by now. As it was, Shuri was the source of a lot of his inspiration. (And human contact, not that she needed to know.)

He’d been lucky enough to work alongside the princess for a few years now, and they’d managed to come up with some pretty cool ideas. Originally Bucky had been envisioning a 3D printed plastic prosthetic, but their latest design would be made out of vibranium. Shuri had shown him a Wakandan 3D printer that could print vibranium, and he was sold. Previously, the only real drawback of vibranium was that it would be harder to mass-produce quickly, but now that that problem was solved, the choice was obvious.

It was almost exciting, how close to coming up with a functional design they were. Really, in a world with such advanced technology elsewhere, it seemed like the field of prosthetics would have been equally advanced, yet it was so hard to find a prosthesis that was comfortable, functional, and affordable. If you were lucky you might get one of those currently. Bucky had settled for affordable when choosing his.

If they were successful though, it would revolutionise the field. They had already agreed that they would sell them for an affordable price - that was one aspect Bucky refused to compromise on. Sure, he would probably get a cheap one as soon as they were released, but that didn’t mean that everyone would. There were so many other people who needed them too, but not all of them were fortunate enough to work at SI. And anyway, it’s not like Stark’s company wasn’t already making billions from its other products.

But aside from just being affordable, and functioning like a regular limb, _ and _hopefully not making the wearer feel as though they had constant knots in the muscles surrounding it - Bucky couldn’t even remember what it felt like not to have a tight shoulder and neck after wearing his prosthetic anymore - Shuri had also suggested they try to recreate the soul marks on the left wrists. When she had first suggested it, he had just laughed at her. He missed his soul mark, of course he did, but how were they ever going to recreate it? Bucky was their only willing, eligible test subject, and he hadn’t even found his soulmate yet. They were never going to be able to tell if they had succeeded. Maybe if Bucky had found his soulmate… But he hadn’t. And probably wouldn’t. And he was fine with that - or, he was becoming fine with that. It’s not like he could expect to find him easily without a soul mark to help.

Aside from the soul marks, which Shuri assured him they could add through extra programming later, their designs for arms and hands were finished. Legs were a bit more of a challenge because they had to be able to support the user’s body weight while still being flexible, but they were getting there. Using vibranium certainly helped. In the meantime though, they were planning to release their first successful designs to the world in a week, and Bucky and Shuri were constantly in and out of meetings - with Stark, with medical professionals who wanted one last reassurance despite the rigorous testing they’d already put their designs through, and even with the press, most of whom wanted to know less about the revolutionary biomedical product and more about the 18 year old girl and one-armed man who’d made it. It was exhausting, and Bucky felt too drained to even think about adding the soul mark feature right now.

* * *

As time went on, Steve’s band stopped changing colour as often. When there was a new colour, it would still come with a picture, but they would often fade long before the band changed colour again. It hurt him to know that his soulmate was no longer seeing the beauty in everything. 

He missed having new things to draw, and discovering how many different colours one thing could be, and being able to learn about his soulmate through what made them happy. But most of all, Steve missed his soulmate’s happiness.

“You know your life doesn’t revolve around your soulmate right?” Steve looked up from his wrist to see Peggy looking down at him disapprovingly. He hated seeing that look on her, but he’d been seeing it since they were kids, and it wasn’t nearly as effective anymore.

At his blank look, Peggy continued. “Steven look.” He instinctively hunched his shoulders at the use of his full first name. Apparently a lifetime around Peggy Carter hadn’t made him entirely immune just yet. “One day you will meet your soulmate, and if they’re still in the same mental state that you’ve _ assumed _ they’re in right now, then maybe you can help them through it. If that’s what they want. But you spending your life moping until then? That won’t help them, and it _ certainly _ won’t help you.”

As much as he hated to admit it, Peggy had a point. He didn’t actually know if his soulmate was less happy than they used to be; they could easily have just changed as a person and stopped appreciating the small things as much. And okay, his “moping” as she put it, wouldn’t help anyone - though he’d tried to make a case last time this came up that he wasn’t moping.

“Alright fine. I’ll try to focus on it less.” At Peggy’s raised eyebrow, he acted indignant. “I will! I _ pinky promise _.” As kids they had honoured pinky promises above anything else, and that hadn’t changed as they grew into adulthood.

Apparently satisfied, Peggy let the subject drop.

* * *

Despite having made his work available to the world a few months ago, Bucky himself still didn’t have a new arm. He was far too busy trying to finish the new programming for the soul marks, and he really didn’t have time to stop and adjust to a whole new arm. As it was he barely had time to sleep. Shuri kept trying to convince him to take time off and to get a new arm, but he couldn’t. He just… If he stopped for too long then he would start to think about everything he’d lost. And he couldn’t do that. So he kept working, staying as late as he could most days, especially when Shuri was back in Wakanda. On those days he would often stay until JARVIS kicked him out of the lab.

When Shuri was in New York, she would berate him for staying at work too long, and he was glad she cared - really, he was - but it didn’t make him stop. She was right, of course, he was overworking himself, but that was kind of the point. Because if he worked more then he could solve the problem of soul marks, and then so many people’s lives could improve. It wasn’t even about his own happiness anymore. He could survive without his soulmate. After all, who would want him for a soulmate, broken as he was. No, it was better to spend his time working to help others than to dwell on what couldn’t be.

***

“This is an intervention.”

The voice snapped him out of his work, and he immediately wondered how long Shuri had been standing there before she spoke. His next thought was that she was meant to be in Wakanda. Which meant that either he’d managed to completely lose track of the days or she’d come back to New York early.

“A what?”

“An intervention. When people come together to stop someone else from causing harm to themselves? Come on old man, surely you know what an intervention is.” The joke almost lightened the mood, except- hold on, what?

“Okay firstly I’m only 10 years older than you, I am still a _ millennial _ and I have done my fair share of industry killing to prove it, so don’t go calling me ‘old man’ young lady,” he started with, because he could never just ignore an opportunity to tease Shuri. “But why is there an intervention? What has Stark done this time?”

“I’ll have you know I haven’t done anything - this intervention is for you.” Huh. So apparently their boss _ was _ here. Bucky looked behind him and saw that while Shuri had moved to stand in front of him, Stark had been content to hang back and lean against the doorframe.

Shuri pointed an accusatory finger at Tony. “Oh no, you don’t get off the hook that easily mister. You’re in trouble too.” She snapped her fingers and pointed finger guns towards Bucky. “Oh, that reminds me Bucky, we’re planning an intervention for Tony Stank over here.”

Tony squawked indignantly, but at Shuri’s capital L Look, he quietened down. For a teenager she did a damn good job of keeping her coworkers in line. Considering her coworkers were Bucky and Tony, she did an incredible job, regardless of her age.

“_ But _ ,” she continued, “first comes your intervention. You are spending _ way _ too much time at work, especially when I’m not here. It’s not healthy.” Bucky felt a little sheepish at being called out for it, but that was almost entirely drowned out by the confusion as to how she found out. Nobody else stayed in the labs that late except Tony, but he was usually staying later than Bucky, and was totally absorbed in his own work. Even if he had noticed Bucky staying late, there’s no way he’d have told Shuri. Eventually (immediately) she’d have worked out how he knew, and staged an intervention for him too. Though, she was already planning to stage one for him, and Bucky can’t think of another reason he would need one, so maybe Tony did snitch.

Knowing denial would be pointless, Bucky gave in to his curiosity. “How do you even know about that? You’re in Wakanda when I stay late.”

“You really think I trust the two of you to go home on time without both me _ and _ Pepper constantly nagging you? I hacked into JARVIS and got him to tell me what time you go home when I’m not here.” Hacked was probably a bit of an exaggeration, given that she had almost certainly just asked the AI to please tell her when Bucky and Tony went home, and not to let them find out, but Bucky let her have it. She was clearly enjoying her moment as a spy extraordinaire.

In the end, he agreed to spend less time at work and more time working on himself. (Though despite their thousand pushups agreement, he wasn’t actually sure he wanted to do that. Maybe doing 1000 pushups would be easier, would hurt less.) Her and Stark had also managed to bully him into getting a new arm, pointing out that getting the soul mark installed on his new arm could be done later just like it was going to be for everyone else. It worked well, really, because it gave him something else to focus on that wasn’t just work, even if he didn’t really feel like he deserved it yet.

* * *

Steve’s soul mark had changed, but instead of a bright colour from nature it was a dark grey, and the sketch next to it looked like an arm. Even considering it had hardly been changing in the past few years, that seemed odd. Whenever it did change it was a bright, sky blue, or the vibrant green of trees in central park, or the pastel colours of sweet peas. Dark grey - and as the colour of an arm too - seemed unusual.

Steve didn’t forget about it, but he did try to take Peggy’s advice and get on with his life. He expected that soon the arm would disappear anyway, and the colour might even change and bring a new image with it. After all, how long could you think an arm was beautiful for if flowers didn’t last a day?

The answer was, as it turned out, a while. The colour stayed, and the drawing next to it never faded. The only change was the angle, which could only mean his soulmate kept finding it beautiful over and over again. Between the ever changing images he’d had as a child, and the fast fading ones he’d had as an adult, it was the longest Steve had ever had one image for. As he did with all the pictures that appeared on his wrist, Steve drew the arm. The more he looked though, the more interesting it was. The grey had an almost metallic sheen to it, and if he looked closely enough in the right light, it almost appeared to have gold veins running through it. The arm was surprisingly detailed. It had plates that looked like they helped the arm move, and even the fingers looked like they could move. It must have come from an incredible robot. Given how much his soulmate liked it, Steve guessed they must have made it themselves, which was awe-inspiring. He couldn’t fathom the brains it must have taken to make something like that.

Suddenly there was an arm waving in front of his face. “-with me? Earth to Steve?”

Steve snapped his head up to look at Sam. “Hmm?”

“I _ said _, what’s been so interesting about your mark recently? I swear you’re more invested in the tiny picture on your wrist than you are in the movie, and I know you’d never skip on disney like that normally. You have literally never missed an opportunity to point out how amazing the art and animation is. So what’s up?”

“Nothing.” This earned him Sam’s patented raised eyebrow. “Okay, fine. It hasn’t changed in a month now.”

“Okay? I know it used to change a lot when you were a kid, but isn’t a month pretty normal these days?”

“Yeah but the picture is still here. It hasn’t lasted much more than a day for _ years _ Sam. And it’s not even something from nature - it’s a robotic arm. This is the longest they’ve ever kept one colour as their favourite, and the picture staying probably means they’re actually remembering what colour they like _ and _ what it’s the colour of, which might mean they’re getting happier. ”

Apparently sensing he wasn’t going to drop it, Sam just sighed. “Alright then man. Can I see it?” At Steve’s incredulous look - since when has Sam ever joined him in his pining? - he shrugged. “If you can’t beat ‘em, join ‘em.”

With a shrug of his own, Steve held out his left arm to Sam.

“Oh, hey, this looks kind of like the arm one of the guys at the VA has - the new ones released by Stark Industries earlier this year. I don’t think this is a robot’s arm, I think this is your _ soulmate’s _arm.”

Pulling his arm back to himself, Steve took another look at the tiny picture. As he was watching it, the coloured band rippled slightly, and image shifted to reveal the inner forearm. Except now it had a small rectangle across the wrist that hadn’t been there before. It had a soul mark.

Even as he was turning his arm back towards Sam to show him the change, it was changing again. This time the band changed colour too - fading from dark grey to fuschia - and the picture was no longer an arm but a small rectangle, like the outline of a soul mark.

* * *

Bucky hadn’t seen his soul mark in years, but there it was. A small pink band across his wrist, just like it always used to be. It was the most beautiful colour he had ever seen.

He whirled around to Shuri, just enough self control left to avoid using his left arm’s full strength as he pulled her into a hug. They’d done it. Or, they probably had, but he was too sleep deprived and mentally exhausted to consider that they’d failed right now. He was learning, since getting his new arm, that maybe he did deserve this win. Maybe he could let himself celebrate this.

Consciously pushing any negative thoughts out of this mind, Bucky pushed back from the hug. “Shuri, you are an amazing engineer slash genius, and I never should have doubted you.”

“Us,” she corrected with a grin. “You did an awful lot of this too. I’d say we’re _ both _amazing engineers slash geniuses.”

Bucky pulled her in for another hug. “This is going to change so many lives Shuri. We did it.” His voice came out smaller than he’d intended, but he was too tired to hide his emotions today. Today he would let himself be happy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So basically your soulmate's favourite colour is a stripe across your wrist and changes if their favourite colour does. If their favourite colour is inspired by something (say, orange because of a sunset they saw) then a small sketch of that thing will show up too. When Bucky's stripe first changes colour and has the small rectangle next to it (a sketch of a soul mark) he didn't know that it was because Steve liked his stripe so much. Up until then Steve just liked the colour pink, but now he likes yellow like his soulmate's yellow. I hope that kinda makes sense?
> 
> I also like to think that even when Bucky isn’t actively looking out for beautiful things, he still finds them, and even if he forgets about it later, the colour stays with him subconsciously, hence why Steve always has a colour as they grow up but not always a picture.
> 
> Anyway so I've actually done a lot of research on bionic prostheses, and only some of it was for this fic. But 3D printing functional bionic limbs (mostly hands and arms, because legs really are a lot harder) actually does happen, and Open Bionics is a British company that makes affordable prostheses by 3D printing them. It's a cheap way to make them in various sizes, which means that you can actually get a well-fitting and comfortable one (which seems to be pretty uncommon). Plus, these actually function, so instead of your typical prosthesis which is usually just plastic that you can't move or use, you can pick things up, and apply different amounts of pressure too.  
Another design I've seen (and admittedly I don't know as much about this) is osseointegration where the limb is surgically attached to the bone, which makes it more comfortable and more functional, but I don't think they can be removed. BUT I'm pretty sure I read about some people who are designing prostheses that are attached through osseointegration but can be removed because they basically have one part that's permanently attached, and another part - the actual limb - that can be removed and reattached to the first part. This one they were also trying to make it so that you can feel things properly too. From what I can remember though I think they were trying to basically wire the prosthetic into the nervous system so that from there it's literally just like a normal limb. All the nerves are still there especially if the limb was amputated and they still function so pretty much instead of feeling a phantom limb you would feel your normal limb. Again, I read about it a while ago and haven't been able to find much since so I'm not 100% about any of this I'm relying solely on memory here. But ya I just think this stuff is super interesting :)


	2. Everything's Gonna Be Okay

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whoops so I had this all ready to go I just needed to write the last little bit but then the last 217 words took me 13 days to write. So basically I was planning on having this up over a week ago
> 
> (also peep that new John Mulaney references tag because I have zero self control)

As it turned out, having two functional arms made life a lot easier. It also made it a lot harder to find excuses not to do things, not to move on.

Now that they weren’t as busy at work, Shuri kept nagging him to take more time for himself, and even Stark was trying to get him to join him outside of work. It wasn’t that they weren’t friends, it had just been so long since he had done anything remotely social that he wasn’t really sure if he knew how to do it anymore.

Over the next few months though, he did end up taking their advice. He was walking through central park at lunch in mid-September when he saw an orange leaf falling slowly from a tree. He smiled to himself, thinking about how amazing nature was. Then he stopped. Turned around and looked back at the leaf, now on the ground, as if it would give him the answers he was looking for. Because he had just appreciated the beauty of a leaf. He had looked at nature and seen beauty. And it was _ fall _ . He had seen beauty in the world around him, and it _ wasn’t summer _.

Bucky smiled to himself, thinking that maybe Shuri was right. Maybe he was getting better.

* * *

When Steve looked down at his wrist, it was still the orange-brown it had been for the past week, and the small leaf was still next to it, twisted slightly as if being blown by the wind. 

In early November, Bucky saw the sunset and wished he was any good at art so he could paint the colours of the sunset.

In early November, Steve saw the gradient of orange to purple to deep blue on his wrist and painted a sunset.

In late December, Bucky saw an evergreen tree; bright green leaves peeking out under the snow.

In late December, Steve drew green leaves, hiding under their blanket of snow. In late December, Steve started carrying his soul mark sketchbook with him again.

On new year’s eve, Bucky watched the fireworks in central park with Shuri and Stark, and thought about how much had changed in the last few months, and how much would probably continue changing in the coming months. He watched a red firework go off as he thought about how he was okay with that thought, and how that in itself was a pleasant change.

On new year’s eve, Steve watched the fireworks in central park, and on new years day he sketched them from memory and his wrist - currently a bright red. He thought about how much seemed to have changed for his soulmate recently. From a child who saw the beauty in everything, to an adult who didn’t seem to care anymore, to an adult who was apparently learning how to care again. Steve hadn’t met them yet, but he knew he was proud of them.

In mid-January, Bucky and Shuri were finally allowed to release their leg prostheses to the public. It had taken months of testing to pass regulations, a long and drawn out process that had drained both of them. But now it was done, and the world had full access to the kind of technology it had previously only dreamed of.

In mid-January, Steve saw another limb - a leg - on his wrist, and admired the gold veins that were running through the dark metallic band again. He didn’t think it was his soulmate’s leg though, because instead of multiple changing angles, he got just the one, and it was in the style of a blueprint. It seemed that his original theory all those months ago - that his soulmate designed these prostheses - could be correct. In mid-January, Steve decided his soulmate might just be a genius.

In early February, Bucky visited Wakanda with Shuri and she showed him her favourite gardens.

In early February, Steve had to take photos of his wrist because it was changing faster than he could finish each drawing. They were mostly unfamiliar flowers, yet all beautiful. He guessed his soulmate had been on holiday, because this only lasted a couple of weeks before his soul mark settled on a bright purple, and the drawing accompanying it stayed an unfamiliar flower that somewhat resembled a calla lily.

In late February, Bucky looked outside and saw a clear blue sky. He knew the day would be cold, but seeing the sun always made him feel better.

In late February, Steve looked outside and saw a clear blue sky. In late February, Steve looked at his wrist and saw the colour of the sky mirrored there. He’d suspected he might find that, and he smiled knowing that his soulmate was happy today.

The next day it rained, and his soul mark returned to the purple flower it had been previously.

* * *

In early March, Bucky had managed to let Tony convince him to talk a walk in central park during work. Apparently, a walk would be good for him. Bucky strongly disagreed, and thought that what he _ actually _needed was to keep working on the knee developments. Even though they had released their leg designs, there were always improvements to be made. Shuri loved to say that “just because something works doesn’t mean it can’t be improved” and it had stuck as their team motto. Though it wasn’t as if there were any objections from Stark when they pitched their improvement ideas to him.

But now. _ Now. _ Now, Tony had decided that it was more important for Bucky to go for a walk because, “You’re always stuck in your work Buckaroo. Take a break, go for a walk. Boss’s orders; it’ll be good for you.” So here he was, walking through central park in early March, thankful that he’d remembered to grab his coat as Tony abused his power as boss to shepherd him out of the tower.

Bitter as he may be about being kicked out of work for an hour, he had to admit that the park was nice. There were daffodils beginning to sprout as he walked through the conservatory garden, and he couldn’t deny that he envied the man sitting on the bench with a sketchbook out.

And okay, he hadn’t been looking out for his soulmate recently, choosing instead to focus on fixing himself first, but it had made him smile when he’d seen that his soul mark was bright yellow, with a small drawing of a daffodil next to it. He knew it didn’t really mean anything that his soulmate liked daffodils, but he still felt happy when he thought about it. Sue him. His friends were always saying he needed to let himself be happy more anyway.

They were also trying to convince him to make more friends outside of work, an idea that he was less keen on. But he figured that since he was already doing one thing they’d insisted on, he might as well kill two birds with one stone and try talking to somebody. At least if it went badly he’d probably never see them again.

The guy on the bench looked up, and Bucky must have been spending too much of his free time with Shuri binging tv shows, because all he could think was that he must have been making the same face as Rosa did when Alicia stepped out of the car in Brooklyn Nine-Nine.

_ Here goes nothing _ he thought, shaking himself out of his reverie as he stepped forward to talk to the guy.

***

In early March, Steve was sitting in the conservatory garden in central park, sketching the early blooming daffodils. Peggy would have a fit if she knew he was here, saying he was dwelling too much on his soulmate, but that didn’t change the fact that he genuinely liked the flowers. Yes, that stemmed from his soulmate’s love of them when they were kids, but now it was something more. To Steve, daffodils represented happiness, not pining. Though if he was being honest with himself, it wasn’t an irrational conclusion for Peggy to draw. He _ had _ spent an awful lot of their childhood obsessed with his soulmate and soul mark. And while it wasn’t as though he hadn’t dated anyone - everyone did, because it’s not like you immediately knew who your soulmate was when you met them - he just hadn’t found anyone worth staying with.

He glanced down at his wrist, and saw that his mark had changed to a yellow-orange band, with a slightly deformed daffodil next to it. He paused as he went to draw it in his other sketchbook, flipping back a page in his current one. With another glace between his sketch and his wrist, he frowned. That was definitely the flower he had drawn earlier. Which meant his soulmate had just seen that same flower?

Since new year’s eve when he was sure they had both watched the fireworks in central park, Steve was fairly certain his soulmate lived in New York. Whenever his mark changed to match the sky where his soulmate was, it often matched the weather where Steve was exactly. But this? This meant that his soulmate was somewhere near him, and since it was the middle of the day in the middle of the week, there weren’t many people around.

As he was sitting there smiling to himself, a man came up next to him.

“Hey uhh… mind if I sit next to you?” There was plenty of space on other benches, but Steve wasn’t going to be an asshole and say no. Besides, soulmate or not, this guy was incredibly handsome.

“Yeah, go ahead. I’m just admiring the flowers anyway so it’s no disruption.” The other man glanced down at his left wrist, and Steve couldn’t help but notice the metal hand peeking out of his sleeve. He tried to tell himself it didn’t mean anything. He didn’t know for sure that his soulmate even had a metal arm - maybe they just made them, and were proud of their work. And anyway, most people didn’t know who their soulmate was right away and Steve didn’t want to make things awkward between them by pointing it out. Best case scenario, they were soulmates, he took it well, and they only felt a little more pressure to get to know each other. Worst case he made it incredibly awkward for both of them, they weren’t soulmates, but because they thought they might be they strained any potential platonic relationship to a breaking point. The reality would probably be somewhere closer to the latter end of the spectrum, and it didn’t feel worth the risk.

Instead, he held out his hand. “I’m Steve,” he said with what he hoped was a friendly smile. Surely the other man wouldn’t have asked to sit next to him if he wanted to avoid a conversation right?

Sure enough, the man smiled back - albeit somewhat shyly. “Bucky.” As he sat down, he asked, “So which is your favourite flower?”

Steve grinned - this was his element. “Well when I was a kid, I didn’t care much about flowers or anything - I guess I just didn’t know much about them - but then I noticed that even though my soul mark was always changing it would often go back to the same colour as it was when the daffodils were out in spring, even during the rest of the year. I know it’s kind of sappy, but I always liked daffodils the best because it seemed like my soulmate did. I always loved to see what colour my soulmate liked the most. They changed it so often when we were kids and because it was usually because of a specific object - mostly flowers - I would get a little sketch with it. It’s uh… it’s actually how I got into drawing.” Steve stopped himself, very aware that he’d just spilled his heart to this stranger. Luckily, Bucky didn’t seem to be judging him too much.

Steve… actually seemed like a pretty cool guy. Bucky hadn’t gone into this conversation expecting anything more than just a weird look and a stilted conversation lasting about two sentences each. This was significantly better than that. He’d never say it out loud, but maybe Tony and Shuri were right and it was worth talking to new people sometimes. _ Sometimes _. Like now.

He couldn’t help but smile as Steve talked about his favourite flowers. His passion was evident, and it was endearing to see how much he cared about his soulmate. Plus, he referred to them as _ they _ which meant that either his soulmate was non-binary or he hadn’t met his soulmate yet and didn’t know what gender they’d be - and that meant that he wasn’t straight. He hadn’t had cause to for a while, but Bucky was pretty sure he could still turn on the charm when he wanted to. He waited for Steve to stop rambling before chiming in.

“Yeah? If you don’t mind me asking, what’s their favourite colour - or flower - right now?” This was accompanied by what he hoped was a flirtatious smile.

Beaming, Steve replied. “No no it’s fine. It’s just changed to a daffodil, but recently it’s been some other flower that I don’t know. Do you have a favourite flower?”

It was weird, because as a child Bucky had loved looking at the colours of everything - flowers especially - and his favourites had been daffodils. He’d been willing to write the fact off as a coincidence, except now he was getting filled with more and more doubt. He’d just seen a daffodil that he really liked - it reminded him of himself with the way it was a little deformed but growing through it anyway. It made him think that maybe he could be beautiful like that one day too. And since his trip to Wakanda with Shuri he’d loved the heart-shaped herb - a flower that only grew in Wakanda, and that most people didn’t know. But it was just a coincidence right?

He figured he’d better answer Steve’s question anyway, and he could dwell more on this later. “Yeah uhh, I actually loved daffodils when I was a kid as well, and while they’re still up there, I think my favourite is the heart shaped herb from Wakanda.” At Steve’s furrowed brow, he realised Steve probably fell into the category of “most people” who didn’t know it. “It’s purple, this incredible shape that almost looks like it’s glowing, and is roughly the shape of a calla lily,” he clarified.

For a moment, Steve only looked more confused, but his expression cleared a little as he replied. “Yeah I… I think I know it?” The words should have been a statement, but he’d phrased it more like a question. After what appeared to be a moment’s deliberation, Steve pulled out another sketchbook and flipped it open near the back.

“Is this it?”

Bucky leaned over to get a better look. The drawing looked mostly like the heart shaped herb - it had the same shape and colours, but some of the shades of purple were in slightly different places. Still, it was recognisably the same flower.

“Yeah that’s it! Usually the lighter colours are over here,” he said, gesturing to the middle of the flower, “not around the edge, but that’s it. Have you been to Wakanda?”

“No, but I think my soulmate has. About a month ago my soul mark kept changing to all these different colours with heaps of flowers I’d never seen before, but this was the most common one. I could see the colours and the shape of the flowers, but I didn’t know how they fit together so I had to guess a little when drawing them. If the flowers were Wakandan it would explain why I hadn’t seen them before.”

Huh. It had been about a month ago that Bucky had visited Wakanda with Shuri and she’d given him a tour of her favourite gardens.

“I take it you’ve been to Wakanda, if you know the flower?” Steve’s voice snapped Bucky out of his thoughts.

“About a month ago actually… My friend lives there and she was showing me around her favourite gardens because she knew that I used to like looking at flowers.” Was it possible that Steve actually was Bucky’s soulmate?

***

Was it possible that Bucky actually was Steve’s soulmate? He could have brushed off the arm as a coincidence, or the same favourite flowers, or the trip to Wakanda, but everything? It seemed like far too much to ignore when it was all put together like that.

He decided to bite the bullet and do it. No harm in asking right? (There was, his brain helpfully supplied. There definitely was, but when had Steve ever listened to that part of his brain once he’d made up his mind?)

“Look, umm… this might be a little forward of me, but I-” he paused, very aware of what he was about to do. “I think there’s a chance you’re my soulmate?”

Bucky looked a little shocked, but he didn’t necessarily look _ un _convinced, so Steve figured that maybe his theory actually had some merit to it.

“It’s just that you seem to like all the same flowers as my soulmate, and you went to Wakanda at the same time, and presumably saw the same or similar things, and I’ve known for a while that my soulmate lives in or near New York, and just before we started talking my soul mark changed to match a specific daffodil and I know it because I saw it just over there a minute ago and it’s a pretty unique one so there can’t be too many that look just like it, and well. I think my soulmate might have the same arm as you.” His rambling hadn’t seemed to have an end until he brought up Bucky’s arm, and then suddenly he froze. What if Bucky was insecure about it? What if Steve had just hurt his feelings or insulted him? What if-

“I think you’re right.” At Bucky’s voice, Steve looked up, and saw not a frown but a hesitant smile. It was beautiful.

“You do?”

“Yeah, I was actually thinking the same thing before.” Bucky’s hand moved up to scratch at the back of his neck. “For all the same reasons. Except uh… the arm.” At this, his expression shifted from nervous to curious. “How did you know about it?”

“A few months ago - maybe about 6 or 7 months ago? - my soul mark changed for the first time in a while. Usually if it changed it was something in nature, like a flower or a leaf or an animal, but this time it was grey, with strains of gold through it, and it came with a drawing of an arm. It was actually my friend Sam who worked out that it was their - your - arm and not one you’d made for a robot.”

Bucky grinned. “Well, your first theory wasn’t entirely wrong. I did make it, though it wasn’t for a robot. My job is designing bionic prostheses. I’m actually meant to be working on improvements for some legs right now.” He frowned. “Or, I _ would _ be doing that right now, if my boss hadn’t kicked me out of the office, having decided that it’ll be good for me.”

Steve raised a hand to his chest in mock pain. “You mean you don’t consider meeting me to be better than your work?”

Horror dawned on Bucky’s face. “Oh my god, that's not what I meant at all, I was just having a go at Tony for kicking me out of the office!” His face fell suddenly, and he threw his head back, groaning. “He is _ never _ going to let me live down the fact that I met you after he kicked me out of the office. As far as he’ll be concerned it’ll be impossible for him to ever be wrong about anything again.”

Steve laughed at Bucky’s misery, which might have made him seem like a bad soulmate, but at Bucky’s fake glare, he figured it made him a good friend, which felt far more important.

***

“Ok but seriously, you made that?” Steve’s question threw him off a bit - one (Shuri) might even say he’d been thrown off his rhythm. He wasn’t expecting Steve to ask about it any further, let alone with such earnest.

“I mean I had a fair bit of help from Shuri and Tony, but... yeah.” His following smile was mostly for himself, though Bucky supposed Steve noticed it. He was damn proud of his work, and was proud of himself for actually taking the credit for his work too. If it weren’t for his friends constantly bugging him about how he works harder than he gives himself credit for, he might have just shrugged it off, muttered something about how he _ only helped really, he didn’t do all that much _.

Steve’s eyes widened. “Wait,” he started slowly, as if explaining something to himself as he said it. “Sam said those prosthetics were released by Stark Industries, and you work with Tony and Shuri? As in, _ the _-”

Bucky rolled his eyes. “Yup. _ The _ Tony Stark. But do me a favour; when you meet him, don’t tell him he’s the reason we met. Like I said before, his ego really doesn’t need the boost.” He stopped for a moment, considering. “Actually, if we really want him and his ego to be less insufferable, pretend you have no idea who he is when you meet him. He’ll flounder for a minute before trying to jog your memory of his fame, desperation growing by the second. I’ll get Shuri to record it, of course, can’t let a moment like that go undocumented. Oh, he’ll hate it, but it will be _ so _ worth it.”

By the end of his monologue, Bucky realised he was mainly talking to himself, but when he looked up at Steve to apologise, he saw Steve looking a little sheepish too.

“Uh… actually, I was gonna say the Princess of Wakanda.”

And wasn’t that a nice surprise. People never wanted to know about Shuri because, sure, she was royalty, but she wasn’t _ British _ royalty, so most Americans didn’t really care about her. Tony though. Everybody knew Tony Stark. Bucky couldn’t help but laugh.

“Ok, scratch what I said about not telling Tony how we met. Please let me tell him that you didn’t care that I worked with him,” Bucky used his best puppy-dog eyes on Steve because he really, _ really _didn’t want to have to let this opportunity go. “I’ll tell you anything you want to know about Shuri…”

Taking it all in his stride, Steve pretended to think about it. “Anything?”

“Anything.”

Steve smirked. “What’s her favourite embarrassing story about you?”

Faced with Bucky’s glare, Steve just raised an eyebrow in challenge.

Sighing, Bucky gave in as he realised that he wasn’t going to get out of this. And also that Shuri was definitely going to start telling Steve all his embarrassing stories as soon as she could. He could at least try to minimise the damage by telling Steve himself, right?

***

Ten minutes and a story each later, Bucky got called back to the lab. He and Steve parted ways, leaving each other with a phone number and a promise to get lunch together tomorrow.

* * *

Bucky woke up feeling safe and happy, a feeling that was becoming less foreign by the day. He looked over at his sleeping husband and smiled. Sure, he still had his bad days, but he’d made progress, and not for the first time, Bucky woke up feeling like everything was going to be okay.


End file.
